


Wrecked

by BabyyCakess



Category: CW Network RPF, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-15
Updated: 2013-10-15
Packaged: 2017-12-29 11:21:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1004833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BabyyCakess/pseuds/BabyyCakess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is just angst with a happy end, inspired by a sad song.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wrecked

**Author's Note:**

> This is fiction.  
> I don't own the song or Cassadee Pope or the J's or CMM, etc, etc.   
> Inspired by 'Wasting All These Tears' by Cassadee Pope (lyrics used and tweaked a bit in the story)

1\. I tried to find you at the bottom of a bottle.

 

Jared gave the bartender a small smile as he took the shot that was set in front of him, downed it gratefully. He motioned for another. 

"Jay, you've gotta stop this; it's not healthy. I know it hurts but this is not the way to deal with it. It's been three weeks." The bartender, one of Jared's closest friends, said. 

Jared nodded, tried to smile. "I know. I've just never had a break-up like this before." 

Chad poured him another shot; he understood. "You've never been in love before."

Jared snorted. "If that's what you wanna call it," he said bitterly. 

"Just because he didn't take it seriously doesn't mean that you didn't."

"Guess so," Jared mumbled.

"Maybe you just need to get back out there again. Meet someone new. Someone who will love you back." Chad said hopefully.

Jared looked up at Chad, nodded. "You know what, you're right." Smiling, he said, "One last shot for courage."

Chad set another in front of him. 

"Thanks man, you're a good friend."

Chad only smiled, but it soon dropped away when he saw who had just come in the bar. 

Jensen.

"Fuck," Chad muttered. 

"What?" Jared asked.

"Jay," he started, but it was too late. 

Jensen was already headed their way.

Jared tensed up, could smell the familiar cologne, and then Jensen was standing next to him. 

"Gimme a beer, please, Chad," Jensen said. When Chad was out of earshot, Jensen turned to Jared. "Jay, let's talk, please." A pause. "Please, baby."

"Don't call me that," Jared muttered. "And no. There's nothing to talk about."

"Jared, there's a lot we have to talk about," Jensen replied.

"No, there's not. There's no apology, no explanation, no words that will ever fix this, Jensen. Nothing."

Jensen sighed. "Jay, you have to let me explain. Please!"

Jared turned to him with sad, sad eyes. "Like I said, Jen, there's nothing to explain. You fucked someone else."

"Please, please let's talk about this." Jensen begged.

Chad came back with Jensen's beer, glared at Jensen. Jared looked up at him with his puppy dog eyes. "Want another, Jay?" he asked, reading his friend's mind. 

Jared nodded.

"You should go, Jensen." Chad growled.

"You should do your job, Chad," Jensen retorted.

"Slow night. Besides, Jay's my favorite customer."

"Well, we were having a PRIVATE conversation, so--"

"No, we weren't." Jared interrupted.

"Jare--" Jensen pleaded.

"We weren't, Jensen." He downed his shot. "This conversation is over. Like us."

Jensen was about to say something, when Chad said "You heard the man. Get the fuck outta here, Ackles."

Jensen left without another word. 

*

Later, Chad found himself carrying most of Jared's weight as they walked to his apartment. 

"C'mon, Jay, just another block."

"I coulda just got a cab home, Chad," Jared slurred back.

Chad snorted. "Um, no. I love you too much to let you drown in your own puke. You had a few too many shots and I shoulda cut you off earlier." Chad silently cursed Jared's puppy eyes. "So you're sleeping at my place tonight."

 

*

They stumbled into Chad's apartment and Jared plopped himself onto the couch. 

Chad laughed. "Dude, you are so wasted."

"S not funny." Jared pouted.

Chad just laughed harder.

*

"C'mon, Jay. Let's get you to bed," Chad murmured as he helped Jared to the bedroom.

Jared fell onto the bed and Chad helped him out of his shoes and jeans. "Arms up," he mumbled, so he could take Jared's t-shirt off. 

He pulled the blankets over Jared, who was snuggled into bed in only his boxers.

Fuck. 

Chad jumped, startled, when he heard Jared's cell phone start ringing.

He grabbed it and walked into the living room, answered it quickly.

He was surprised to hear Jensen's voice.

"Jay, thank God, I didn't think you'd pick up!" he babbled.

"He didn't," Chad answered angrily.

"Chad?" Jensen asked, confused.

"Why are you calling him?" Chad retorted.

"Why are you answering his phone?" Jensen shot back.

"He's sleeping."

Silence.

"Why are you with him?" Jensen growled.

Chad laughed. "Are you fucking kidding me? You're the one that cheated on him! And you two are over, so you don't need to worry about Jared. I'm taking care of him."

"I'll bet you're just eating this up, aren't you?" Jensen snapped. "Got Jared all to yourself, like you've always wanted. But he's mine; he'll always be mine."

"Fuck you, Ackles!" 

Chad ended the call.

*

Chad sat down on the couch with a sigh. 

He'd known Jared since their freshman year of high school. 

They were both outcasts, two gay kids in Texas, and became fast friends. 

They were inseparable all through high school, and it was no surprise to anyone that when Jared announced he was going to NYU, Chad went to New York with him. They got an apartment together close to campus and Chad got a job bartending at Jake's, a local bar, while Jared worked at the campus bookstore; then all of a sudden, it seemed, Jared was almost done with school, and Chad got a huge raise, so Jared moved into his own apartment.

Somewhere along the line, though, Chad had fallen for his best friend. He'd never really thought about confessing his feelings, because neither of them had ever seriously dated anyone. Jared had the worst luck with men, and Chad's heart was already taken, so it had never been an issue. 

But then Jensen Ackles had walked into Jake's, where Chad was bartending and Jared was a regular; it was a busy night, so Jared was nursing a beer by himself and reading a book for class while Chad worked, and Jensen Ackles stole Jared's heart. 

He stole Jared's heart, only to break it.

*

When Chad woke up the next morning, he didn't feel Jared's warm body pressed against his, and he opened his eyes to find that Jared was gone. 

"Jay?" he called out.

He was met with silence.

*

Jared hurried home, mumbling under his breath so he didn't forget. 

The thing about Jared was, he liked to write. He was going to school for journalism, so maybe one day he could write for a big newspaper, but he loved to write poems, write songs, and he had notebooks filled with his writing. 

He had quite a few notebooks filled with poems and songs about green eyes and freckles and cursed himself for ever falling in love.

Still, he repeated it in his head over and over, singing softly to himself so the words wouldn't escape him.

He hurried home so he could write them down.

*

Jared walked down his hall, and stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Jensen was sitting outside his door.

"Jen, what are you doing here?" Jared asked with a resigned sigh. 

"Jay, we've gotta talk, please." 

Silence.

"Please."

Jared's eyes flicked up to meet Jensen's, then quickly looked away. "Fine," he said with a small nod. 

He tried not to melt when Jensen smiled.

*

Jensen stood awkwardly in the doorway, and Jared took pity on him.

"You can sit down...you know where the couch is..." he blushed as he remembered all the times they'd made out (and more) on that couch. “I just--um, I have class in an hour so. I'm gonna get ready for class real quick."

Jensen nodded, tried to keep his mind off of Jared wet and naked, in the shower, and all the times he and Jared had showered together. 

*

Jared went to his room and pulled out his notebook and pen. 

He hurriedly wrote down the lyrics he had in his head, and then headed for the shower.

*

I tried to find you at the bottom of a bottle  
Laying down on the bathroom floor  
My loneliness was a rattle in the windows  
You said you don't want me anymore

And you left me  
Standing on a corner crying,  
Feeling like a fool for trying  
I don't even remember  
Why I'm wasting all these tears on you  
I wish I could erase our memory  
Cause you didn't give a damn about me  
Oh, I wanna be through  
Wasting all these tears on you

You ain't worth another sleepless night  
And I'll do everything I gotta do to get you off my mind  
Cause what you wanted I couldn't give  
What you did, boy I'll never forget

And you left me  
Standing on a corner crying  
Feeling like a fool for trying  
I don't even remember  
Why I'm wasting all these tears on you  
I wish I could erase our memory  
Cause you didn't give a damn about me  
Oh, I wanna be through  
Wasting all these tears on you

And you left me  
Standing on a corner crying  
Feeling like a fool for trying  
I don't even remember  
Why I'm wasting all these tears on you  
I wish I could erase our memory  
Cause you didn't give a damn about me  
Oh, I wanna be through  
Wasting all these tears on you

I tried to find you at the bottom of a bottle  
Laying down on the bathroom floor 

*

2\. I'll do anything I gotta do to get you off my mind.

 

Fresh out of the shower and still feeling like shit, Jared bypassed Jensen completely, and walked to the kitchen.

Jensen swore under his breath and followed him. 

"Jay, what--" he stopped, and smiled when he saw what Jared was doing.

"'m just gonna make a pot of coffee; figured you'd want some. I know you're not a morning person." And Jared was right. Jensen liked to sleep, hated waking up early, and was hopelessly addicted to coffee. 

But the fact that Jared was making a pot of coffee, that he was being so sweet, even after everything, just made Jensen feel even worse.

"Jay, you don't have to--"

Jared laughed. "Don't flatter yourself. I need coffee, too. I'm hung-over and I've got class all day, and I need coffee if I'm gonna get through today."

Jensen nodded.

Jared fiddled with the coffee maker, then went about the kitchen to get two mugs, spoons, sugar and cream.

"You wanted to talk, so talk," Jared said.

"Well, I kinda figured this was a serious conversation, so maybe you could, you know, look at me...?" Jensen replied.

"Right..." Jared said, and set all of the things down on the counter. He turned towards Jensen, but wouldn't meet his eyes. "Okay."

Jensen took a deep breath. "Jay, I just...I wanted to say I'm sorry. I know I fucked up, I know. But, I wanna fix this. I lo--"

"No." Jared interrupted. "No, you don't get to say you l-love me." He paused. "You don't have the right. Not anymore."

"Jare--" Jensen started.

"Jensen, I don't know what you want from me. I can't--I can't look at you, because when I do I just see you with him. I can't trust you. I told you. We're over. And I can't even be friends with you, Jense, because I." He stopped abruptly. They both heard the unspoken "because I love you" that Jared refused to say. 

The coffee pot chose that moment to beep, signaling it was done. 

Jared poured two cups, stirred three sugars and some cream into his mug, and left the other black, put in one sugar. 

He gave Jensen his coffee, the exact way he loved it, and Jensen felt tears spring to his eyes, but hurriedly blinked them away.

Jared knew just how he liked his coffee, he knew all of Jensen's weird little habits, and he still loved him. 

All Jared had ever done was love him, and Jensen had fucked it up.

"Thanks, Jay," Jensen murmured.

They drank their coffee in silence.

*

When they finished their coffee, Jared announced he had to get to class, so they walked out. 

Jensen had a car, so he offered to drive Jared, and Jared accepted.

When they arrived, Jared hopped out of the car, and gave Jensen a small, forced smile. "Thanks for the ride. Goodbye, Jen."

It sounded so final; Jensen swore to himself that he would make things right as he drove away.

He wasn't ready to say goodbye.

*

Jared got out of class and was immediately bombarded by Ryan, a cute classmate with an obvious crush. 

"Jared, you wanna get coffee with me? That class was killer today," he offered with a friendly smile.

Jared opened his mouth to tell him that he had a boyfriend, for the millionth time, or maybe just tell him that he didn't want coffee, he just wanted to go home and cry, but when he opened his mouth, what came out was, "Sure, Ryan. I'd love to."

Ryan hurried to hide his shock, and gave Jared a big smile. "Great."

*

The problem was, Ryan was actually a really nice guy. He was cute, but his eyes weren't green; they were blue. He didn't have freckles, just milky white skin. He wore skinny jeans, his major was Photography, he liked a lot of sugar and cream in his coffee, and he was absolutely nothing like Jensen. 

Maybe that's why Jared invited him back to his apartment, and maybe that's why they made out until they were out of breath. 

Maybe he slept with Ryan so he could stop thinking about Jensen. 

Either way, it didn't work.

When Ryan opened him up, when he slid inside, while Ryan fucked him, all he could think of was Jensen.

All he ever thought of was Jensen.

*

Ryan was gone before Jared woke up the next morning, but Jared found a sweet but sincere note left on the nightstand.

'Jared,  
Sorry for bailing, had to get to work.  
I had a really great time.   
Besides the sex, ya know. ;)  
The coffee and conversation was fun, too.   
We should do it again sometime.  
390-9078  
-Ryan'

Jared didn't know whether to smile or cry. 

*

Chad gaped at him, shocked.

"YOU DID WHAT WITH WHO?" he yelled.

"Why do you seem so mad? You didn't even really like Jensen..." he muttered. It was no secret that Chad and Jensen weren't best friends during Jared's two year relationship with him. "Besides, weren't you just telling me the other day that I should get out there and meet someone new?" Jared asked, confused. 

"Yes, Jay, I did say that...I'm not mad, I'm just..." he trailed off, blushing.

"What?" Jared prodded. Chad never blushed.

"Jay. When was the last time I've been in a serious relationship?" 

Jared rolled his eyes. "Chad, that's not even a question. You've like...never been serious. With anyone. You're....asexual, or something." Jared replied with a laugh.

Chad rolled his eyes. "Jay, I'm a guy. I have sex. And I know you're fucking smart, so how have you not figured it out yet?" 

Jared looked at him. "Figured what out?"

"That I'm in love with you!" Chad exclaimed.

Jared stared at him with wide eyes. 

"What...?"

"Jay," Chad started, voice low as if he was talking to a wounded animal.

"Chad, are you fucking kidding me?" Jared asked, hoping it was just a joke.

"Man, I thought you would've figured it out. I mean, I haven't exactly been subtle." 

"But...we're best friends." Jared said.

"Yeah. I know; fucking cliché, right?" Chad mumbles.

"Chad." Jared said, eyes sad, not ready to break his best friend's heart.

Chad sighed, resigned. He held up a hand. "I know, Jay. You don't feel the same." A pause. "I just...wanted to get it off my chest, I guess. See if I had half a chance. I never expected anything from you, Jare. I know...life isn't like the movies, it isn't like those romantic comedies you love. Not everybody gets the happy ending they want." He cupped Jared's face in his hands, looked him in the eyes. "I know you deserve your happy ending though. I don't care if it's with Jensen or with this new guy, or someone you meet three years from now. All I ever want is for you to be happy, okay?" 

Jared nodded, with tears in his eyes. "Chad, I--"

Chad shook his head. "Don't," he whispered. And then he pressed his lips to Jared's. It was chaste and sweet, just a dry brush of lips. It was like an ending, and a beginning.

Jared closed his eyes and kissed Chad back.

He wished that just for once, life was like a movie, and everyone got a happy ending.

*

Chad and Jared agreed to give it a few weeks, take some time apart, be on their own. 

It was like a temporary break up with his best friend, and Jared sighed as he let himself into his apartment. 

He stripped down to his boxers and popped 'Pretty Woman' into the DVD player; then he headed to the kitchen to retrieve a spoon, a pint of Ben and Jerry's and his emergency bottle of Jack Daniels. 

Of course, as soon as he settles down on the couch with a blanket and his goodies, the doorbell rings. Of course.

He reluctantly gets up to answer the door when he realizes that the person isn't going away, and moodily yells "I'm coming!"

He opens the door and sees Jensen standing there. 

Of course.

*

3\. I wish I could erase...

 

Jared opens the door and sees Jensen standing there. 

He bursts out laughing and Jensen stands there, looking utterly confused. 

Jared opens the door wider, letting Jensen into his apartment, and just keeps on laughing. 

"I'm" giggle "sorry" snort "I just think" chuckle "I'm going crazy"

Jensen smiles fondly. 

When Jared finally stops laughing, he realizes that he is standing in his apartment, feet away from Jensen, in just his boxers. 

Not to mention the fact that Pretty Woman is paused on his TV right now, and there's alcohol and ice cream on the coffee table. 

Fuck.

Jared tries to block the living room, but Jensen is already making his way to the couch.

Jensen stops suddenly when he sees, and looks worriedly at Jared.

"Jay, what's wrong?" 

It's no secret that Jared's favorite movie is Pretty Woman, but he only watches it when he's having a really bad day. Worse, Jensen knows that Jared only indulges in ice cream and alcohol at the same time when he's had a terrible, horrible, shitty day. 

The evidence is sitting on the coffee table.

Jensen's stare is only making Jared fidget.

Jensen walks toward Jared, takes his hands. "Jay, you know you can always talk to me..."

Jared shakes his head. "I can't talk to you anymore, Jen." He pauses, like he's only just noticing Jensen's actually here. "What are you even doing here?" he wonders.

Jensen shakes his head. "I wanted to talk to you. I didn't want to leave it the way we did. I wanted to give you some time, and show you that I'm serious about this. About us. I want to fix this. I really do."

Jared looks at Jensen warily. "What if I don't? I told you earlier--"

Jensen cuts him off. "I know what you said. That there's nothing I can say or do. But Jare, you didn't let me finish. We didn't even really talk. And I know you don't trust me, but I can't just let this go. I can't let you go."

Jared smirks, "What if I've already moved on, met someone new?"

Jensen looks at him with a raised eyebrow. "Jare, you told me about Tom in high school. How you dated for a month and you didn't date again for 6 months," he teases. 

"That was in high school!" Jared's cheeks turn pink.

Jensen smirks this time. "So? I know you, Jay. You're a fucking hopeless romantic."

Jared turns red. "Shut up," he mumbles.

"You look like a tomato!" Jensen laughs.

Jared gapes at him, half embarrassed and half amused.

"So, can I stay? Can we talk? For real this time."

Jared sighs, then nods. "Let me go get dressed," he mutters. 

Jensen chuckles, "I don't mind what you're wearing now," and ogles Jared as he walks to the bedroom.

*

Jared comes out of his bedroom in pajama pants and (coincidentally) one of Jensen's old tees. 

Jensen smiles when he sees. 

Jared blushes. "It's laundry day."

Jensen's plopped on the couch, the ice cream and alcohol are suspiciously absent. 

Jared gives Jensen a look.

Jensen raises his hands in surrender. "I just thought I'd put it away, so you don't hate yourself in the morning," he jokes. Jared is known for getting bad hang-overs.

Jared laughs. 

The room gets quiet, and Jensen says, "I really miss you, Jay."

"Well maybe you shouldn't have slept with someone else, Jen," he replies.

"I DIDN'T!" Jensen yells. 

Jared stares at him in disbelief. "What?"

Jensen takes a deep breath. "I didn't sleep with him. I--I almost did..."

Jared cuts him off, "Oh, yeah. I'm so sorry for walking in on you two making out. Didn't mean to intrude."

"Jared, we kissed. I stopped him, he kissed me again anyways, and you walked in." 

Jared laughs. "Okay."

"I'm serious."

Jared eyes him from where he's sitting in the armchair. "Why were you kissing to begin with? Why were you in your bedroom?" 

Jensen sighs. "I should probably start from the beginning; just...please, hear me out."

Jared nods. 

Jensen looks Jared in the eyes. "I love you, Jared. I've never loved anyone the way I love you. It's...intense and amazing, but it also scares the shit out of me and when I'm scared I get stupid." 

Jared stares at him with big, watery eyes. 

Jensen continues. "I know that Chad doesn't like me. He's never liked me. He's your best friend and I really wanted him to like me. But I know why he doesn't, and I get it." 

Jared sighs. "He told me."

Jensen gapes at him, shocked. "He did?"

"He did. And I tried to...to let him down easy...but he already knew. He knew I didn't..."

"I'm so sorry, Jay." Jensen says, and means it. He knows how much Jared loves Chad, but it's always been a brotherly love. 

"I always knew though. I could see it when he looked at you; like you were the only person in the world. I saw the way he looked at you and it scared me so much. I thought that maybe if...when...you realized how much Chad loved you, you would love him back."

Jared chuckles. "That's crazy, Jensen!"

"I know. But, there was this voice telling me I would lose you. And I didn't want to lose you. But I just...I wanted to hurt you before you hurt me. So I met that guy and then we were in my room, kissing and I realized I didn't want to kiss him or anyone else. The only person I wanted to kiss was you." He sighs. "And then you walked in and I told myself I would make things okay, that I would fix it, because there was no other option. You and I, we're something special, Jay. And I told myself I wouldn't lose you, and I just...I need to fix this because nothing feels okay without you. I miss you, so much, and I don't want to go another day without you."

Jared had tears streaming down his face and he sobbed out, "I slept with someone else." 

*

4\. Feeling like a fool

 

"What?" Jensen chokes out, shocked. 

Jared wipes away his tears, looks up at Jensen. "I slept with someone...it didn't mean anything."

Jensen stares, speechless. 

"Why? When? WHO?" Jensen rambles, consumed with jealousy.

Jared shakes his head. "I told you, Jen, it doesn't matter. It didn't mean anything."

"Are you seeing him?" he asks.

"Jen, no!"

Jensen doesn't seem to be comprehending because he just starts crying and gasping like he can't breathe and asks "Do you love him, Jay?" and he starts sobbing. 

Jared goes to Jensen and wraps him up in a hug. When they pull apart and Jensen is calmer, he looks into Jensen's eyes. "I love you, Jen. I missed you so much and...I don't wanna go another day without you, either."

Jared can't tell if Jensen lets out a laugh or a sob, but he guesses it's a laugh, because he gives a watery smile and wipes his eyes. 

"I love you, Jared." 

"I love you too, Jensen." Jared replies.

"Fuck, I'm sorry. I just--I lost it, I don't--" Jensen starts. 

Jared presses a finger to his lips. "It's okay. I *thought* you slept with someone else and I was a wreck for weeks, so."

Jensen laughs, pulls Jared in for another hug. He breathes in the scent he's been missing, nuzzles Jared's hair and presses kisses wherever he can. Jared smiles, enjoying being back where he belongs. 

Jensen presses his lips to Jared's and he's home.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not really happy with the ending but ohwell.   
> Reviews are love <3


End file.
